I see that Sonic has deployed fiber within about 5 blocks of my house in West Portal.
I'm thinking of sneaking into those impressive Sonic trucks I hear are in other neighborhoods. Then, I would rummage through the work orders, and use my forgery superpowers to craft perfectly modified work orders leading to a phalanx of trucks and smartly-outfitted technicians descending into West Portal. My neighbors and the businesses on West Portal Avenue would be freed of the tyranny of high speed internet access through an opponent of net neutrality that will remain nameless. I anticipate this would lead to a ticker tape parade for me down West Portal Avenue composed of shredded cable bills.
You folks OK with this? Better not let Dane know about it.
(Happy Sonic customer for more than a decade)